Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Mineela Chand says the key to fixing a bad relationship is taking responsibility for your own behavior, and learning the art of fighting well is helpful. She says marriages, like boxing matches, have rules and boundaries, and couples with a high level of conflict have a few things in common.
“They’re criticizing, they are saying hurtful things, not for the purpose of working through the problem or coming to some kind of resolution or conclusion, but to create more hurt because they themselves are feeling hurt by the conversation, so this is more of a retaliation and revenge, as opposed to something that is constructive and moving the couple forward in the relationship.”
Chand says there is no place for retaliation and revenge in a healthy relationship, and the Association for Marriage and Family Therapy recommends a marriage checkup once a year. She says couples leave with an action plan for strengthening their weaknesses. She has a private practice in King of Prussia and is also affiliated with Springfield Psychological Associates, and she appeared Wednesday on the WNPV talk program Legally Speaking.